I have a list of topics and experiences that I have had over the past month that seemed blog-worthy, but you know how it goes with the whole time thing and not having it. In the meantime, I had a very "Holy ordinary"* experience that I decided should trump the others for now.
Lately, it seems like I have been drowning in heavy experiences of both life and death, both times of rejoicing and times of mourning and crying out. These seem to be the times that it is obvious for us to look to and for God, whether it is in thanksgiving or with heavy questions, anger, or pain. But what about all of those ordinary times in between?
During our Wednesday night Gathering meals, here at our church, we share "God moments" with one another before we pray and head onto the other evening activities. These God moments come in a variety of ways, but the basic question is, "Where have you seen God in your life in this past week?"
Well, with all of the recent events in the life of our congregation, I have been looking to see where God is working. Even though I never doubt God's presence, I like to be reassured that I can still see God's love and light breaking in through all the crap (yes, Mom, that was the nicest way I could put it) that life throws at us.
I was thinking over this again the other night as I was bathing my 9 month old daughter. Where have I seen God this past week? What about today? What about RIGH NOW? I began to think about the very ordinary act of bathing my daughter, which led me to think about how many other people were living the same joy of watching their sweet baby girl splashing in the water, only taking breaks to look up with her big, gorgeous, joyful eyes and offer huge smile? I felt connected to so many people as I thought about that, and it also made me think about what a blessing it was to be in that place at that time with my precious, healthy little girl. I thought to those who were, instead, crying out in pain or grief, those who were seeking the light in the midst of darkness. My moment of joy was slipping away quickly. And so I took a breath, leaned over to rest my chin on the side of the tub, looked at my baby girl, and prayed to know God in that moment -- in that insignificant, ordinary moment for which I gave thanks -- and I swear to you it was like a blanket was wrapped around my shoulders. I felt warmth and peace, and those worries were quickly lifted.
I love times of obvious "God moments," times of spiritual highs or great revelations of God's power and presence. And yet, I pray that I continue to be aware of God in the simple times and not just the hyped up moments. Because I truly believe that these moments of the "Holy ordinary" are the ways in which we can ground our faith and build up an understanding of God's presence, so that when those spiritual highs come along they will be a bonus, not a need. And when those times of despair creep in, it will be that much easier to know that we are not abandoned to the darkness.
Where have you seen God this past week? What about today? What about RIGHT NOW?
*I just decided to claim this as the term for what I experienced. Holy, in it's simplest explanation, is that which is "set apart." So the Holy ordinary, for me, are seemingly ordinary moments in our lives through which the experience of God has marked them as Holy/set apart.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Orderly Chaos
I try, in vain, to keep order to our crazy life. Sometimes it works out, but mostly I find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off in an attempt to keep up with the cleaning and straightening of our house and our schedules (I can't imagine what this will be like when we have teenagers!). The days it works out, I find that I'm feeling very proud of myself, only to realize that it's now bedtime and I've missed spending time with my family. The days I choose family over organization and cleanliness, I find that I get antsy about when it will all get done.
Part of the problem is that I like to be in control far too much, and I don't think I'm alone in that. Look at some common New Year's resolutions you might hear:
"This year I'm going to reach my weight goals/exercise more/eat better" (control over body and health)
"This year I am going to balance my time between work and play" (control over time and scheduling)
"This year I'm going to try harder to listen/understand/engage my loved ones" (control over relationships)
And I'm not saying that those are bad things, but that in some way or another, we all experience places and times that we might describe as unbalanced or out of control. Sometimes it can go as extreme as to call it chaos, where we are flailing our arms trying to grab onto something in an attempt to regain balance and composure. But are there also times when our attempts to get or keep things in our control become a detriment instead of something helpful? That just maybe someone else could have things under control, even when we personally do not? It turns out that not everything is dependent on me and my ability to keep it together and figure it out.
As promised, I have a quick story and a photo of our family's Nativity Advent Calendar from this year. Each day we pulled out another piece of our Nativity scene from the boxes that surrounded the painted picture in the middle (night sky, stable, trees, ground). We, of course, let Henry put the pieces on each day, because that was part of the excitement of it all and one of the ways we were able to talk to him about waiting and anticipating (he wanted to do them all at once). As our picture unfolded, I found that we had stars on the ground, a camel taking a rest in a tree, and sheep apparently floating out into space (or at least hovering in the air a bit). I hate to admit it, but it took so much restraint for me to not fix it by putting everything where they belonged. After all, I have to teach him, right? But, alas, I held back and told myself that I needed to allow for some freedom of creativity. As each day passed, I found that I was more and more humored by where he might put the next piece, and it bothered me less and less...I was actually kind of getting into our little alternative picture of that holy night. Then, to my surprise and without any direction from me, one day Henry started moving things around. He put the stars and angels in the sky, and moved animals back down to the ground, saying in a funny little voice, "Sheep don't go in the sky! They go down here!" He seemed to find his own order and direction to it. He took the time to work with it and decide what made sense to him and how he felt it should look. And here is our result (yes, there is still a wise man and a shepherd a bit up in the air, but to be fair there wasn't much room):
I can be in such a rush to "fix" things that I do not give others the opportunity to work it out for themselves, or to bring their own gifts and thought processes to the table. When I do that, I not only get a bit uptight, but I also deny my loved ones (particularly my growing and learning children) the right to use their own skills and God-given abilities. Or perhaps, just as bad, I stop seeing how things can be done differently and still done well...even if it's not how I would have first thought to go about it....and that sometimes the point is not the obvious orderliness.
With the Nativity, the point was not to have a pretty picture at the end, but to engage Henry in the story of Christ's birth. So what if he wanted to have the sheep floating in the sky, a camel in the tree, and fallen stars on the ground. None of that would have changed the fact that he was learning stories of faith, praying and reading scripture daily, and doing it all with his family. And if nothing else had come around to looking "orderly" he at least had the most important piece right....he always saved a spot right smack in the middle for baby Jesus.
I believe that when we are centered in Christ and let all else form around that, the rest of the chaos will either find its rightful place, or we will discover how insignificant it really was to begin with. As we enter into this new year, I pray that I hold to that truth as we continue to navigate life together as a family, living in the light of the one who has come in the midst of all the chaos to bring abundant life to you and to me. I pray that I can learn to appreciate our orderly chaos for what it is and to know that even if nothing else looks quite right in the picture, we will at least have saved a spot right smack in the middle of it all for Jesus.
Part of the problem is that I like to be in control far too much, and I don't think I'm alone in that. Look at some common New Year's resolutions you might hear:
"This year I'm going to reach my weight goals/exercise more/eat better" (control over body and health)
"This year I am going to balance my time between work and play" (control over time and scheduling)
"This year I'm going to try harder to listen/understand/engage my loved ones" (control over relationships)
And I'm not saying that those are bad things, but that in some way or another, we all experience places and times that we might describe as unbalanced or out of control. Sometimes it can go as extreme as to call it chaos, where we are flailing our arms trying to grab onto something in an attempt to regain balance and composure. But are there also times when our attempts to get or keep things in our control become a detriment instead of something helpful? That just maybe someone else could have things under control, even when we personally do not? It turns out that not everything is dependent on me and my ability to keep it together and figure it out.
As promised, I have a quick story and a photo of our family's Nativity Advent Calendar from this year. Each day we pulled out another piece of our Nativity scene from the boxes that surrounded the painted picture in the middle (night sky, stable, trees, ground). We, of course, let Henry put the pieces on each day, because that was part of the excitement of it all and one of the ways we were able to talk to him about waiting and anticipating (he wanted to do them all at once). As our picture unfolded, I found that we had stars on the ground, a camel taking a rest in a tree, and sheep apparently floating out into space (or at least hovering in the air a bit). I hate to admit it, but it took so much restraint for me to not fix it by putting everything where they belonged. After all, I have to teach him, right? But, alas, I held back and told myself that I needed to allow for some freedom of creativity. As each day passed, I found that I was more and more humored by where he might put the next piece, and it bothered me less and less...I was actually kind of getting into our little alternative picture of that holy night. Then, to my surprise and without any direction from me, one day Henry started moving things around. He put the stars and angels in the sky, and moved animals back down to the ground, saying in a funny little voice, "Sheep don't go in the sky! They go down here!" He seemed to find his own order and direction to it. He took the time to work with it and decide what made sense to him and how he felt it should look. And here is our result (yes, there is still a wise man and a shepherd a bit up in the air, but to be fair there wasn't much room):
I can be in such a rush to "fix" things that I do not give others the opportunity to work it out for themselves, or to bring their own gifts and thought processes to the table. When I do that, I not only get a bit uptight, but I also deny my loved ones (particularly my growing and learning children) the right to use their own skills and God-given abilities. Or perhaps, just as bad, I stop seeing how things can be done differently and still done well...even if it's not how I would have first thought to go about it....and that sometimes the point is not the obvious orderliness.
With the Nativity, the point was not to have a pretty picture at the end, but to engage Henry in the story of Christ's birth. So what if he wanted to have the sheep floating in the sky, a camel in the tree, and fallen stars on the ground. None of that would have changed the fact that he was learning stories of faith, praying and reading scripture daily, and doing it all with his family. And if nothing else had come around to looking "orderly" he at least had the most important piece right....he always saved a spot right smack in the middle for baby Jesus.
I believe that when we are centered in Christ and let all else form around that, the rest of the chaos will either find its rightful place, or we will discover how insignificant it really was to begin with. As we enter into this new year, I pray that I hold to that truth as we continue to navigate life together as a family, living in the light of the one who has come in the midst of all the chaos to bring abundant life to you and to me. I pray that I can learn to appreciate our orderly chaos for what it is and to know that even if nothing else looks quite right in the picture, we will at least have saved a spot right smack in the middle of it all for Jesus.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Ho Ho Ho, God is with us
It's time....and yes, this is long.....but I'm stepping up onto my soapbox about Santa. Now let me first say, I love Santa! Ever since I was little I have enjoyed the stories and the traditions surrounding the jolly gift-giver. And I continue the tradition of Santa with my own children today. But as not only a pastor, but also as a mom, trying to help my 3-year-old son understand why it is that we celebrate this time of year, I am having a very difficult time competing with the commercialism of it all. And, while I am not willing to give up the fun of Santa, I will certainly put him in his place. As I keep telling Henry, Santa is a bonus, but he's not in charge of Christmas and he's certainly not the point.
Here are my 3 biggest issues I am finding at the moment:
1) Santa's supposed authority to "cancel Christmas." Seriously? First of all, Christmas already happened, and Jesus is already here. Each year we celebrate the reality that God loves us so much that he wanted to be right smack in the middle of this crazy world and so he came in the flesh in the vulnerable form of the Christ child. In case you didn't realize that was what it was about, maybe you caught the whole meaning behind the story of the Grinch (no, not the Jim Carrey version...don't get me started there)....the whole thing where he went and took away all the decorations and food and presents in an attempt to stop Christmas from coming, and yet it came because the Who's were together celebrating by lifting their voices in song. So whether or not there are presents, or there is a big snow storm that Santa might night make it through, Christmas will come....correction, Christmas HAS come, CHRIST has come, and we celebrate God's presence among us through Christ over and over and continue to give thanks and praise. When I tried to work through this with Henry the other day, I asked him (not for the first time) if Santa can cancel Christmas. His response? "Yes he can, he's a boy." <multiple levels of deep sighs> I think that will be a post for another day, haha!
2) The lie that all children will get gifts. One show after another talks about how Santa never forgets anyone and emphasizes that ALL children (well, only the good ones of course) will receive presents on Christmas morning. My issue here is two-fold. First, it leaves false hope for children living in poverty. While many are "adopted" through special programs or church groups or neighbors, there are still those who have nothing on Christmas morning. Some are living a reality that I cannot even fathom, and their last concern is a toy under a tree. They may just want to go through a day without knowing hunger pains, or being abused. And those who are aware of this promise of Santa, and then don't receive anything, do they believe this is what they deserve? Have they just not been as "good" as all the kids in warm homes with food on the tables and presents under the tree? Second issue...what is this teaching my children? A continued denial of the societal issue of poverty and despair? Are we allowing our children to believe some magical man from the North Pole will take care of the needs of their hurting neighbors so that they can live in the sheltered belief that everyone is ok?
3) Comparing Santa to Jesus. Just stop with this. Whether or not it is intended, the ways in which we talk about Santa (the man who creepily sneaks into our houses to leave presents) and Jesus (the Savior of the world) is frighteningly similar. Concepts of always watching, shaking a finger when we mess up, promising good things to those who "deserve it." And if you have compared them, what will your children believe about Jesus once they've found out that Santa was just a fun thing we do that makes us feel good? Now to be fair, I was raised with both and am no worse for the wear, but I believe that there was a distinction made between the two for me. Santa may make his lists of who is naughty and who is nice as he watches from his chilly home in the North Pole, but Jesus is right here with us each and every day, loving us and forgiving us when we screw up....and no, it's not because we "deserve it."
Now that you've heard my negative Nancy take on it, I'll reiterate that I am certainly ok with finding joy and excitement in Santa, but NOT if we lose sight of the greater joy of Christmas -- that love, in the form of an infant, came to be with us as the Savior of the world.
I am not a parenting expert by any stretch of the imagination, but here are my humble suggestions on how we can help our children engage the meaning of Christmas....
TALK to your children! Talk about why we give gifts (sharing love with one another, Jesus' birthday, etc). Talk of Santa as a bonus, but not the actual reason. Repetition is your friend with little ones! Even if they don't get it just yet, it will be written on their hearts and minds and will stay with them.
FOCUS on the Nativity story daily. We have started doing family devotions together each day. Simply using a booklet provided by our church, and a nativity set we bought on Amazon that has boxes around the outside each containing a piece of the scene. Each day we add a piece to the magnetized center picture. Henry is creating the Nativity scene one day at a time and it offers ample opportunity for conversation about who is in the picture and why, and who we're still waiting for. It's also an interesting way to begin learning about concepts of waiting and anticipating. I have watched as our daily ritual has turned from a game to having meaning in just these few short weeks of Advent! Photo of completed Nativity to come in my next post. :)
DON'T STRESS, it will sink it...but please don't ignore the importance of being intentional about the ways in which we talk to our children about faith.
Please share your thoughts on how we can engage our children in these types of faith practices....as parents, grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, and friends, we learn together!
Blessings on your Christmas celebrations, and may you know the peace and joy of Emmanuel, God with us!!
Here are my 3 biggest issues I am finding at the moment:
1) Santa's supposed authority to "cancel Christmas." Seriously? First of all, Christmas already happened, and Jesus is already here. Each year we celebrate the reality that God loves us so much that he wanted to be right smack in the middle of this crazy world and so he came in the flesh in the vulnerable form of the Christ child. In case you didn't realize that was what it was about, maybe you caught the whole meaning behind the story of the Grinch (no, not the Jim Carrey version...don't get me started there)....the whole thing where he went and took away all the decorations and food and presents in an attempt to stop Christmas from coming, and yet it came because the Who's were together celebrating by lifting their voices in song. So whether or not there are presents, or there is a big snow storm that Santa might night make it through, Christmas will come....correction, Christmas HAS come, CHRIST has come, and we celebrate God's presence among us through Christ over and over and continue to give thanks and praise. When I tried to work through this with Henry the other day, I asked him (not for the first time) if Santa can cancel Christmas. His response? "Yes he can, he's a boy." <multiple levels of deep sighs> I think that will be a post for another day, haha!
2) The lie that all children will get gifts. One show after another talks about how Santa never forgets anyone and emphasizes that ALL children (well, only the good ones of course) will receive presents on Christmas morning. My issue here is two-fold. First, it leaves false hope for children living in poverty. While many are "adopted" through special programs or church groups or neighbors, there are still those who have nothing on Christmas morning. Some are living a reality that I cannot even fathom, and their last concern is a toy under a tree. They may just want to go through a day without knowing hunger pains, or being abused. And those who are aware of this promise of Santa, and then don't receive anything, do they believe this is what they deserve? Have they just not been as "good" as all the kids in warm homes with food on the tables and presents under the tree? Second issue...what is this teaching my children? A continued denial of the societal issue of poverty and despair? Are we allowing our children to believe some magical man from the North Pole will take care of the needs of their hurting neighbors so that they can live in the sheltered belief that everyone is ok?
3) Comparing Santa to Jesus. Just stop with this. Whether or not it is intended, the ways in which we talk about Santa (the man who creepily sneaks into our houses to leave presents) and Jesus (the Savior of the world) is frighteningly similar. Concepts of always watching, shaking a finger when we mess up, promising good things to those who "deserve it." And if you have compared them, what will your children believe about Jesus once they've found out that Santa was just a fun thing we do that makes us feel good? Now to be fair, I was raised with both and am no worse for the wear, but I believe that there was a distinction made between the two for me. Santa may make his lists of who is naughty and who is nice as he watches from his chilly home in the North Pole, but Jesus is right here with us each and every day, loving us and forgiving us when we screw up....and no, it's not because we "deserve it."
Now that you've heard my negative Nancy take on it, I'll reiterate that I am certainly ok with finding joy and excitement in Santa, but NOT if we lose sight of the greater joy of Christmas -- that love, in the form of an infant, came to be with us as the Savior of the world.
I am not a parenting expert by any stretch of the imagination, but here are my humble suggestions on how we can help our children engage the meaning of Christmas....
TALK to your children! Talk about why we give gifts (sharing love with one another, Jesus' birthday, etc). Talk of Santa as a bonus, but not the actual reason. Repetition is your friend with little ones! Even if they don't get it just yet, it will be written on their hearts and minds and will stay with them.
FOCUS on the Nativity story daily. We have started doing family devotions together each day. Simply using a booklet provided by our church, and a nativity set we bought on Amazon that has boxes around the outside each containing a piece of the scene. Each day we add a piece to the magnetized center picture. Henry is creating the Nativity scene one day at a time and it offers ample opportunity for conversation about who is in the picture and why, and who we're still waiting for. It's also an interesting way to begin learning about concepts of waiting and anticipating. I have watched as our daily ritual has turned from a game to having meaning in just these few short weeks of Advent! Photo of completed Nativity to come in my next post. :)
DON'T STRESS, it will sink it...but please don't ignore the importance of being intentional about the ways in which we talk to our children about faith.
Please share your thoughts on how we can engage our children in these types of faith practices....as parents, grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, and friends, we learn together!
Blessings on your Christmas celebrations, and may you know the peace and joy of Emmanuel, God with us!!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Why I'm blogging
I am now into my 3rd year of my first call as a Lutheran pastor in an amazing congregation, and I am into my 4th year as a mom to two beautiful children. Both are full time calls that I attempt on a regular basis to balance and to not cheat either side....I fail, over and again, but I keep trying. I decided to start this blog because I found that I learn or experience something new and valuable (or at least quite humorous) every day between these two important roles. The funny thing is, it is my role as mommy which more often than not has a significant impact on my own understanding of my faith. I hope that this will provide entertainment as you take a sneak peak into my life, but that it will also be a place to help others to start seeing their faith and daily life connecting on a more regular basis.
Every time I'm driving in the car and have a ridiculously wonderful moment in conversation with my son, or I find myself shaking my head that I have yet again had my two major roles in life collide, I have wanted to have a means of sharing it with someone else. So whether I have one person faithfully follow this blog, or 500 people who check in now and again, I hope that through the antic of my daily life you will be inspired to look at your life and faith in a new way....and to share that with someone else!
To be honest, I have wanted to start this for MONTHS now, but never seem to find the right time (shocking). And now that I have sucked it up and started, I'm at a loss for a good anecdote to kick us off....guess you'll just have to check back in sometime soon....
Every time I'm driving in the car and have a ridiculously wonderful moment in conversation with my son, or I find myself shaking my head that I have yet again had my two major roles in life collide, I have wanted to have a means of sharing it with someone else. So whether I have one person faithfully follow this blog, or 500 people who check in now and again, I hope that through the antic of my daily life you will be inspired to look at your life and faith in a new way....and to share that with someone else!
To be honest, I have wanted to start this for MONTHS now, but never seem to find the right time (shocking). And now that I have sucked it up and started, I'm at a loss for a good anecdote to kick us off....guess you'll just have to check back in sometime soon....
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